When there was nothing but space between you, everything felt like a leap.
  • girl: babe come over
  • boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
  • girl: my parents aren't home
  • boy: I know
do-i-smell-watermelon:

clesktop:

emmadilemmathethird:

waltdisney-forever:

If only…

Why is the cake cutting-thingy square? And where’s the leftovers from the middle circle?

One of the pieces disappears?????

it’s a mouse wearing pants

autisticqueermihashi:

piratecoves:

poopflow:

people who dry swallow pills go hard as hell and should not be fucked with

i used to dry swallow pills until a searing pain developed in my throat and chest and with the help of the world wide web i found out it burned a hole in my fucking throat please take your pills with water kiddies it’s worth it

HOLY SHIT OKAY

(via paul-blart-molly-cop)

amoying:

pros of buy one get one free

  • free thing

cons of buy one get one free

  • buy thing

(via paul-blart-molly-cop)

whiteboyslayer:

shoutout to mozzarella sticks

(via wikipeetia)